Every year, as the heat index crosses “boiling alive” and load-shedding becomes a national sport, a mysterious breed of people known as summer fans rise from their melting beds to remind the rest of us that “summer is the best season.” Why? Because mangoes. Or sweat. Or whatever else their heat-scrambled brains can come up with.
We decided to investigate some of the most passionate reasons these brave and slightly delusional heroes give. Here are the arguments for why summer is apparently the best time of year, according to people who may or may not have sunstroke.
You can cook on your car roof
Why waste gas on a stove when nature offers you a fully functional outdoor kitchen? Just park your car under the blazing sun for 30 minutes, crack an egg on the bonnet, and you’ll have an omelet with a light coating of city dust and maybe a dead fly for extra crunch.
Some summer fans call this “solar-powered cooking.” Others just call it “giving up.” Either way, your car has never been so versatile. Just try not to sit on the hood afterward unless you enjoy the sensation of being toasted.
You sweat out all your sins
Forget gyms or expensive detox programs. In summer, just existing is cardio. Within five minutes of leaving your house, your shirt is glued to your back, your face is shiny enough to be a mirror, and your body is producing sweat like it’s on commission.
Summer lovers say this is your body “cleansing itself.” If that’s true, most of us are walking saints by mid-summer. Every step you take is a purification ritual. Every nap in front of the fan is a recovery mission.
No need for hot showers
In winter, you had to wait for your geyser to work or boil water like a medieval villager. But in summer? Your water tank does the job for free. Turn on the tap, and out comes water so hot it feels like it holds a personal grudge against you.
Summer fans claim this is convenient. They call it “naturally heated.” To the rest of us, it feels like showering in disappointment.
Mangoes exist
This is the ultimate summer fan argument. The moment you say, “Ugh, it’s so hot,” a summer lover will calmly hold up a mango and say, “So worth it.” As if this one fruit makes up for every sunburn, sleepless night, and moment of regret when you thought wearing jeans was a good idea.
Yes, mangoes are great. Juicy, sweet, fragrant. But let’s be honest, they’re not an air conditioner. They don’t fix the traffic. They don’t make sleeping in a 38-degree room any less depressing. At best, they’re a sweet apology from summer for everything else it’s putting you through.
You lose weight without trying
Just living in summer burns calories. Sitting still? You’re sweating. Walking to the store? You’re sweating. Thinking about going outside? Yep, still sweating. Summer fans claim this is a “built-in fitness plan.”
Sure, you’re dizzy, mildly dehydrated, and questioning your will to live. But hey, it’s the only time you can brag about losing weight while doing absolutely nothing.
Your laundry dries instantly
There’s something impressive about how fast clothes dry in summer. Hang up a wet shirt, go to hang the next one, and when you turn back, poof, it’s dry and silently judging your outfit choices.
It’s efficient, sure. But summer doesn’t stop at “dry”. Leave your clothes out ten minutes too long and they come back stiff as cardboard. Unless you need cardboards, though, in that case, win-win.
The mosquitoes are tired too
There’s a theory among summer fans that mosquitoes get so hot and exhausted, they bite you less. “They’re too weak to fly properly,” one fan claimed, while casually scratching three fresh bites.
Maybe the mosquitoes are tired. But if they are, they’re still operating with military efficiency. And now they’re biting faster, like they’re on a tight deadline. Summer: where even the mosquitoes feel the pressure to hustle.
The fan becomes your soulmate
In summer, your ceiling fan is no longer just an appliance. It becomes your life partner. You stare at it, beg it, pray to it. You forgive it when it makes weird noises. You thank it when it gives you even a slight breeze, like a loyal friend fanning you with a leaf during your final hours.
Summer fans call this “emotional support system.” The rest of us just call it “desperation.”
You save money on blankets
Who needs layers, comforters, or anything remotely cozy? In summer, you sleep on a thin sheet, surrounded by an empty water bottle, under a fan that sounds like it’s going through something emotionally. It’s minimalist. It’s raw. It’s survival mode.
Some summer fans say they love “the freedom” of summer sleep. By that, they mean tossing and turning for hours while slowly becoming part of the mattress.
Loadshedding = Dopamine detox and quality family time
This one’s a classic. The electricity’s gone again, your phone battery is dying, the fan’s off, the room’s a sauna. But hey, what a perfect chance to reconnect with your family while slowly melting together in the dark.
Summer fans call this a dopamine detox. “No screens, no distractions, just bonding,” they say, while pretending not to miss Wi-Fi like oxygen. Sure, the bonding mostly involves yelling at the power company and debating who sweats the most, but it’s still technically togetherness.
And nothing builds closeness like fighting over the last working hand fan.
Final thoughts
Summer fans are a different breed. While most of us are one sweaty bus ride away from a mental breakdown, they’re out there taking selfies with mangoes and defending their favourite season like it’s a personality trait.
So next time someone says “I love summer,” don’t argue. Just nod, hand them an umbrella, and quietly walk toward the nearest air-conditioned building. Some battles are not worth fighting.
Some people find peace in chaos. Others find mangoes in misery. And the rest of us? We’re just trying not to evaporate.