I feel like the topic of mental health has always been a taboo in our country. Although going to a mental health professional should be seen in the same vein as going to a doctor for a particularly bad case of flu, but that is not the case. As soon as you express the desire to go to a psychologist, you are labelled and, in some cases, even shunned by the people closest to you, particularly your parents.
I don’t know where along the lines of growing up our parents interpreted that going to a psychologist means you’re either possessed by a supernatural entity or that you need to be sent to the famous Pabna Mental Hospital. However, this aversion to psychologists doesn’t really change the fact that from time to time, you can be susceptible to a pretty bad case of “Nothing makes sense anymore, I need help.”
About a year ago, I was suffering from such a case of what my friend calls, “The Great Sad” and I decided that I needed to get some help. But as a broke university student, my options were limited. But then I remembered, North South University has a counseling center, what’s the worst that could happen?
Turtles All the Way Down
If we go back a year, I was not in a great position. My academics were proving to be too much to handle, and all my friends were feeling distant. Things back at home weren’t pretty spectacular either. I felt as if I was getting bombarded with frustrating situations one after the other and the usual route I took to get out was not working.
In this moment of time where I was overwhelmed by life, which seemed to have lost all sense of joy and excitement, I knew I had to do something. That is when I sent an email to the counselling centre at my university and asked for an appointment. I hoped I was going to get better because the people I was going to talk to were experts who dealt with people like me all the time. This is their career. They have studied years and years about the human mind, it was not going to be another generic conversation with my friend where he’ll listen to everything and just say, “Us” at the end.
As soon as I confirmed my appointment with the counselling centre, I dropped the bomb on my parents. The reaction, as you might have guessed, was mixed. A whole lot of confusion, a vigorous number of explanations and way too many “You don’t need a psychologist, you can talk to us. We’re your parents” followed.
The Bell Jar
When I got to the counseling center, I was greeted with a medium sized form asking some basic questions about me, including my age, my semester, my department etc. But it had one important question at the end, “What outcome did I expect from this?”
When I asked myself the same question, I didn’t have an answer. What did I expect from them? Probably a way to cope with everything that was happening in my life at that moment of time. Soon enough, I was met with the person that was going to be my therapist. Although he has wished to remain anonymous, I’ll say that despite having the worst handwriting imaginable he’s a cool dude.
I don’t remember how the first session went but I remember it went good enough for me to return to him a week later. I was skeptical, he was a stranger with whom I was being completely vulnerable, and it didn’t feel uncomfortable. I was talking to this person about the deepest corners of my mind and every demon that haunted me, and I didn’t feel out of place.
I didn’t have to worry about how he would react or how much I would be judged. I was free to talk about whatever I wanted to talk about and slowly, to his credit, the world felt lighter.
Ordinary People
I’m not sure what exactly it was that helped me get out of the situation that I was in back then, but I guarantee you that it wouldn’t be this easy if I didn’t ask for help. A year on, I believe I am in a better place, and I’ve learnt a lot more about myself. I’ve learnt how to help myself and I’ve learnt how to handle myself better.
If you had asked me the question, “Were my expectations met?” I’d say that they were surpassed. I write this because I hope that through my experience, you can get the nudge that you needed to go ask for help yourself.
Whether it be your university counseling or somewhere else, I truly believe that you should look beyond the supposed taboos of this society and put yourself first. I hope that your expectations will be surpassed like mine were. I hope you’ll learn to appreciate yourself a tad bit more.