One of the numerous reasons we put off and even avoid providing feedback is the certainty that it won’t be helpful. There are several factors at play when feedback is ineffective, but one that is often ignored is the medium of communication.
The direct report you’re working with receives helpful comments from you. They’re taking the criticism into account. Then…continued status quo. How often do you find yourself in this aggravating predicament? There are several factors at play when feedback is ineffective, but one that is often ignored is how the feedback is communicated. It’s possible that you’re favoring one method over another when providing feedback simply because you find it easier or more natural to do it in that way.
As simple as that. It’s natural for us to focus on what we’re good at since giving critique is challenging. Maybe you’re a people person who finds fulfillment in talking to others. Even more so than delivering difficult comments, you prefer to “walk into someone’s office” or “get on a short Zoom” to discuss most matters. Maybe you need a moment to think things through before responding. You’d rather have a conversation where the atmosphere isn’t as heated, and you’d want to see any tensions eased.
But you shouldn’t always rely on the path of least resistance; it may not lead to success. It’s important to take into account the scenario, the people involved, and the desired outcomes while providing feedback. Verbal and written forms of feedback are equally useful and should be used accordingly. When to write a note or have a chat about your thoughts and suggestions is outlined below.
Do your best to provide written comments whenever…
You may take your time and do a good job
When we’re too busy to have a chat, we frequently turn to offering written criticism. It’s tempting to just shoot out an email to get it over with. Obviously, you’re off-base here. It’s easy to lose sight of the permanence of written communication in the day-to-day grind of the workplace. It’s important to double-check that you’re OK with your written comments being properly scrutinized and stored as a record of the contact.
Checking your “tone” is as easy as reading through your written remarks. Readers will assume the worst about your motives even if you provide constructive criticism written in a neutral or favorable tone. This is due in part to the fact that encouraging nonverbal cues and friendly tone of voice are lost in written communication. When providing written feedback, it is essential to convey feelings of warmth, encouragement, or thankfulness in a way that cannot be missed. You shouldn’t provide someone with unsolicited, on-the-spot criticism of their work in writing since it might be misinterpreted or come off as more severe than meant.
You want to memorize or repeat what has been stated in a discussion
Consider providing a summary of your comments if it includes instruction, next actions, best practices, or any other material that the recipient will want to go back to in their work. A decent rule of thumb is that if you tell someone more than two things, you shouldn’t expect them to remember everything you said. Send a follow-up email summarizing the key points to assist them put into practice what was discussed.
It’s polite to wait until the other person has finished thinking before speaking
When people have had time to think about comments they’ve received in paper, they’re better able to absorb it during a spoken discussion. One of the managers we collaborate with includes thought-provoking questions at the conclusion of her assessments to encourage further discussion. Her staff members have said they were more prepared to handle the input after being given time to absorb and think about it.
Provide verbal comment when…
There is greater nuance to the responses
Complex back-and-forth negotiations shouldn’t take place through email or other textual communication. When your feedback may vary or develop based on the other person’s input, it’s usually best to have a dialogue about it. By talking things out, we may learn more about the nuances of the problem and develop more effective strategies to address it.
We recently helped a director let an associate know that they needed to be more vocal during client meetings. While the director saw the issue the associate needed to raise, she was confused as to whether the associate had been reluctant to speak out due to a lack of knowledge about the topic at hand or just because they believed they shouldn’t. In both cases, the director had suggestions to help the associate, but her guidance would be substantially different based on what she discovered during their discussion.
During the debriefing, the director showed genuine interest in the associate’s point of view. She found out that the employee was hesitant to speak out since their former supervisor had a strict policy of having everyone remain silent during client meetings. The director would not have been able to glean the facts that helped her decide on the appropriate counsel and course of action for her staff had she provided the criticism in writing. Having a talk allowed the director and associate to explain the new expectations, and the associate felt more at ease raising her voice as a result.
Make your written message a request for a meeting when delivering difficult feedback, and include any questions they should be ready to discuss with you during the meeting. After you’ve had your discussion, it’s a good idea to write down a summary of what was decided.
Tough feelings are at stake
When dealing with sensitive topics, it’s best to have a talk. Nevertheless, we avoid having these kinds of talks for the same reason that confronting our own sad feelings is so challenging. But don’t think for a second that the other person’s emotion disappears because you don’t see it in real-time. However, the recipient of written criticism can respond much more passionately than if you told them personally. Moreover, individuals are more likely to misinterpret the criticism and take it personally since they are already in an emotionally vulnerable state.
Fixing or improving the bond between you two should be your first priority
Sometimes we hold back from providing comments out of concern for the recipient’s feelings. In fact, if it’s done in the form of a discussion, constructive criticism may have the opposite impact and deepen the link. For the reason that constructive criticism works best when shared. By putting forth the effort to comprehend the other person’s position and then working together to find a resolution, you may strengthen your relationship.
However, putting off having that talk might have unintended consequences for the relationship. Resentment builds up and comes out in unintended ways when we postpone offering critical criticism. Even good relationships may weaken if feedback isn’t given, as we’ve seen all too often.
Your capacity to communicate the issue clearly and effectively in a feedback dialogue may be hindered by your concern about causing damage to the relationship. Our emotions cause us to overestimate the other person’s insight into our inner thoughts. Optical transparency is the term for this effect. The cognitive bias wherein we overestimate the transparency of our own emotions and ideas. The other person may not be privy to our true thoughts, and we may accidentally sugarcoat any unfavorable remarks.
Don’t forget that expressing appreciation verbally may be an effective method to build deeper bonds. When you take the time to tell someone exactly what they did well, you deepen the bond between you, and you increase the likelihood that they will continue to act in the same way.
Is there a happy medium? Maybe voice memos might help.
The majority of the teachers, business owners, and group managers we know are using voice notes to communicate with their students and staff. The manager may provide immediate feedback using tools like Voxer, Loom, or Voice Memos (we speak seven times faster than we write).
This kind of feedback is growing in popularity, and it has the potential to address some of the issues with both spoken and written comments. As a result, supervisors may provide feedback in a timely manner, and employees can save a copy of any instructions or next actions for future reference. This allows the manager to provide criticism quickly and with little preparation, while yet benefiting from the manager’s tone of voice to soften any harsh points.
Think about whether your audience would prefer hearing or reading your comments the next time you have to deliver them. You will grow as a communicator if you practice stepping outside of your usual patterns of giving and receiving feedback. Planning for the listener’s (or reader’s) feelings, thoughts, and actions in light of the information shared is an important part of good workplace communication in general, not just feedback.