workplace

Almost everyone has dealt with a toxic colleague. These are the people who gossip, criticise, manipulate, or undermine others. Their behaviour creates tension, lowers morale, and damages productivity.

According to research by the American Psychological Association, most workers who face toxicity at work say it harms their mental health.

Recognising toxic behaviour

Toxic people may not seem harmful at first. Over time, their behaviour becomes clearer. They constantly gossip, complain, or take credit for others’ efforts. They always want to be right and often find fault in everything. Some people show aggression, while others use subtle manipulation.

A common type is the “kiss up, kick down” colleague. They flatter superiors to gain favour but treat co-workers poorly. Another type is the micromanager who refuses to trust others and interferes with every task. Gaslighters distort facts and make others question their own judgement. Some act as bulldozers, using pressure or influence to dominate every discussion.

  1. Setting firm boundaries

The best way to deal with a toxic person is to limit unnecessary contact. Keep conversations professional and brief. If possible, communicate through written messages or email. Do not share personal details or opinions that could be used against you later.

2. Staying calm and neutral

Toxic people often thrive on reaction. Avoid showing frustration or emotion. Respond with calm, factual statements. This approach, often called the “grey rock method”, helps prevent them from feeding off your energy.

3. Thinking before reacting

After a negative encounter, pause before responding. Ask yourself whether their words truly matter or if they reflect more about them than you. Not every conflict deserves your attention. Save your energy for tasks that actually contribute to your goals.

4. Asking thoughtful questions

When someone behaves poorly, respond with calm questions. You might ask, “Can you explain what you mean?” or “What result do you expect from this?” These questions shift the focus and make them reflect on their behaviour.

5. Controlling your emotions

Handling toxic people can become an exercise in patience. Consider it a skill to master. Remain composed even when provoked. The more you stay calm, the less power they have over you.

6. Focusing on self-improvement

The best revenge against toxicity is progress. Direct your time and focus towards personal growth. Learn new skills, take on meaningful projects, and build a positive professional image. By doing so, you limit your exposure to negative influences.

7. Seeking mediation when necessary

If toxicity disrupts your work, involve human resources or a trusted senior colleague. Explain the issue clearly and share examples of the behaviour. Professional mediation can bring structure to the situation and set limits for future interaction.

8. Finding support

Talk to people you trust. Sharing your experience with colleagues or friends can reduce stress and offer perspective. Supportive conversations remind you that you are not alone and help you keep your confidence intact.

9. Maintaining positivity

Try not to let someone else’s negativity shape your mindset. Focus on your duties, stay optimistic, and remind yourself that professionalism always earns respect in the long run.

10. Caring for your mental health

Toxic environments can wear you down. Prioritise your wellbeing through rest, exercise, and time away from work. Engage in hobbies or mindfulness activities that help you stay balanced and strong.

For managers and leaders

Supervisors must take responsibility for dealing with toxic behaviour. Document every incident and try to understand its root cause. Early intervention, guidance, or reassignment can often resolve issues. If behaviour does not change, formal measures may be necessary. A strong, respectful culture keeps teams healthy and motivated.

Toxic people are present in every workplace, but they do not define your experience. Their behaviour reflects their own insecurity, not your ability or worth. You cannot always change them, but you can control how you respond. By keeping calm, setting firm boundaries, and investing in your own growth, you protect your peace and create space for success.