The moment you say, “Hey, let’s go somewhere,” it feels like a doomed plan already but somehow there’s a strange comfort in the effort itself. Well, there’s something oddly peaceful about it too!
Making plans with friends is a challenge itself. From deciding where to go, to finding a date everyone agrees on, the process feels never-ending. Also, there are days and weeks when conversation dries up, not because the bond is broken but because life pulls everyone in different directions. And ironically, when you have a free day to meet, 3 out of 4 will be busy on that day or vice versa.
Come on, if a group combines six closest friends, then at least one will have family plans, another will be “taking cat to the vet”. And one with “Ammu dibe na” is the get out of the jail free card! I gladly put myself on the “Ammu Dibe Na” pedestal when I just need a dose of FOMO! Sorry Ammu, it’s not personal.
I’ve found few classic approaches for you on how you can avoid the next plan! Thank me later.
Excuses: The national sport
You know exactly the moment when your friend sends a reel of a fun and cozy hangout place to the group chat, saying “Guys let’s go” and you just know the excuses are about to roll in. Right on cue here comes, “Taka nai bro, next month chol”, “Amar mid choltese exam er pore chol”, “Submissions e ekdom dube jachchi” and that next month might be a year later or maybe never.
These excuses are so universal that you can use them across all stages of life.
Pro Tip: Even as a working professional, you can still drown in imaginary assignments or blame phantom deadlines with ease. There’s always something more important than hanging out.
Money matters, even when it doesn’t
The “taka nai” excuse deserves a special mention. It’s a classic effortlessly delivered by friends, who with no conviction, interest or urge, come up with this conclusion. Trust me you guys are the best, you avoid dramas.
Whether, you are in college, universities or even employed, this line gets thrown around like, internet connection disruption excuse for your online class! See, it still works! And let’s not talk about how a quick meet up might eat up your entire bank balance! So, this excuse ensure you bank account is safe, which you can save later on for trip. But trip with whom? All your friends are busy!
The midterms excuse that never gets old
Ahh, the classic “Amar exam choltese”. It’s like Captain America’s shield, strong and unyielding! Doesn’t matter if the midterms are two weeks away or you’ve finished the syllabus! (Because we all know you’ll study the night before). But utilise it like a pro. Whoosh! No hangout, I’ve exams, it’s like guarding the gates of Wakanda!
Let’s not forget the submission excuse! Where you can act like writing 500 words can confirm the next Pulitzer Novel!
The myth of the perfect time!
First of all, it doesn’t exist. Second of all, even when someone is finally free, the rest of the squad suddenly becomes too busy. It’s a never-ending cycle of, “We’ll do this wext week, in sha Allah!” And then there’s this one friend who has cousins, who make sure he/she has at least one wedding a year which is always timed perfectly during peak submissions, exams or assignment week! Then the excuses not only confined with friends, but also gets transferred to the faculty as well. This is how you learn proper utilisation, it’s like the groundwork.
The reality of adulthood
Getting older comes with lot of unexplainable worries and challenges, that we never thought we would face. Plans with friends evolve into something tragic, a shared acknowledgement that life is chaotic. Everyone is either chasing career benchmarks or meaningful relationships or just too drained to leave the house.
But here’s the thing even though plans rarely work out, the effort still matters. It’s in the “Let’s plan something soon” texts and random checks in with sending reels that friendship survive.
Last but Not the Least!
Breaking the next time cycle!
Will we ever stop pushing plans to “next time”? Probably not. But maybe just maybe we start being more honest about it. Instead of saying, you don’t have money or mids are going on, how about saying, “I’m tired, and just want to relax, maybe we can facetime today or even watch a movie on discord when you all are free?
Because at the end of the day, it’s never about how often you meet! It’s about the shared understanding, the inside jokes and support that keeps the friendship alive. Even if it’s all happening on messenger group for now. So, the next-time your friend says next-time know that it’s not cancellation, take it as a promise however, unspoken. It’s not like they don’t want to see you, it’s just that they are caught up in the chaos of adulthood as you are.