Like every year, more than one lakh students sat for the medical admission test. Among them was Shadman Sakib Zahin, an engineering aspirant whose parents had given him an ultimatum: become a doctor, an engineer, or a certified failure.
Zahin, who took pride in his ignorance of biology and openly admitted to not knowing the difference between an artery and a vein, confidently dismissed the medical test as “easy peasy lemon squeezy.” When asked about his preparation, he remarked, “I mean, how hard can it be? All you have to know is the number of bones in the human body, which is 306, by the way.”
For weeks leading up to the exam, Zahin maintained that his math genius would be more than enough to guarantee a solid success. “Biology is just a bunch of memorisation,” he scoffed. “All those idiots cramming 40 hours a day, eight days a week, just to memorise the fact that blood is red and not pink—makes me laugh. But hey, I liked the Reproduction chapter. Cool photos.”
On the day of the test, Zahin entered the exam hall with the confidence of someone who believed he had already cracked the code to life itself. When asked about his strategy, he grinned and said, “I’ve spent my whole life preparing for this. Look, I am good at math. The test-makers should be worried about me overachieving.” He then proceeded to answer 97 questions, skipping most of the reading, relying instead on random guesses and what he proudly called “mathematical intuition” and “tactical movement.”.
When the results were published, however, Zahin was befuddled. He got 5 answers right out of 100. Dumbfounded, he immediately blamed the system, calling it “a conspiracy against engineers.” “How can I score only 5 marks when I answered 97 questions? That’s mathematically impossible. They must have deliberately marked me wrong because I’m too smart for their outdated system,” he ranted.
Zahin’s ignorance of biology quickly became the social media sensation after a screenshot of his earlier answers went viral online. In the biology section, he had labelled the nucleus as “the brain’s second cousin” and described enzymes as “tiny robots that help digestion.” In another question about the human heart, he confidently wrote, “It’s like a CPU but for emotions,” while insisting that the pancreas was “probably unnecessary.”
Despite widespread bullying, Zahin refused to concede defeat. “Math is the backbone of all sciences,” he declared in a Facebook live session, defending his stance that medical tests should include calculus and quantum mechanics. “Doctors might save lives, sure, but can they solve triple integration? Nope.”
Zahin’s parents, however, had reached their limit. “We told him to study biology,” his mother sighed, “but all he did was stare at his stupid math book. He barely blinks and talks to his Rubik’s cube. Now he’s neither a doctor nor an engineer. So, what does that make him? Stupid. Grade-A stupid.”
His cousin, a doctor who had inspired his medical attempt, was equally perplexed. “He spent the night before the test trying to convince me that the blood should be replaced with some sort of algorithm. I should’ve known this was coming,” she said, shaking her head.
As memes mocking his performance flooded the internet, Zahin doubled down on his claims. “It’s not that I failed; the test failed me. If I can’t excel, it means the system is broken,” he argued. He even launched an online campaign for students who, like him, believe medical exams are biased against non-biology students. Their theme is something like “Medical tests are a scam.”
The final twist came when it was revealed that Zahin’s actual score wasn’t 5 but a staggering minus 20, thanks to negative marking. When asked for a comment, Zahin confidently replied, “That’s still mathematically impressive. Not everyone can reach such lows.”
He now plans to attempt the engineering admission test, where he is sure his genius will finally be recognised. Until then, he is a failure in any Bangladeshi standard.