In my first few weeks, I thought adulthood had finally kicked in. I dressed up for work in nice office attire, carried a laptop bag and used words like “deadline”, “KPI” and “USP” without laughing. I felt like a grown man.

Then came the meeting.

Nothing intense or overwhelming. Just one of those meetings that could’ve been an email but it wasn’t. Screens were shared, nods were exchanged and the word “noted” was thrown around quite a lot. Then my manager said “Let’s align internally and revisit the deliverables after the stakeholder feedback.” 

Everyone nodded, so did I. I nodded with purpose, like I understood what “revisiting the deliverables” meant. It was like when Charles Miner asked Jim Halpert for that “rundown”. 

The meeting ended but my confusion was still brewing, what is a deliverable and why do we need to revisit it? So I did what every adult does when they don’t want to look stupid. I Googled it.

That’s when it hit me, growing up isn’t about knowing things, it’s about knowing how to hide that you don’t. It’s essentially, faking it until you make it. 

Corporate life runs on unspoken rules; no one tells you what anything means. You’re simply expected to absorb it through osmosis. If you ask too many questions, you look unprepared. If you ask none, you’ll just lose your mind.

The lingo alone needs a separate degree to understand. “Let’s take this offline” doesn’t mean offline. “Per my last email” is not a reminder, but a threat. And my personal favorite, “We will get back to you” is corporate for “Please move on from this emotionally.”

Emails are where adulthood truly tests you. Editing a two line email for thirty minutes because it feels unprofessional because of the punctuation, checking repeatedly to see if the tone seems passive-aggressive or polite. I still don’t know, and I’m too afraid to take my training wheels off.

But you know what comforts me? Almost everyone else is doing this too. They just don’t admit it. We all nod, we all type “noted” and we all Google it later. I think no one knows what they are doing – we are just going with the flow while trying hard to not crash out. We are however, better dressed and look like we know what we are doing.

And somewhere in another office, in another meeting, someone else is nodding along. Someone else is plagued with confusion regarding a term they have never heard before, typing that into Google.

Well, that’s just adulthood. Same confusion, same panic. Just better outfits and an official title.