Good morning, humans.

Since 5:47 AM sharp (because that is when I decided it was morning), I have been monitoring national developments from my high-level security command center also known as the left side of the sofa.

Who gets the power? Who gets the position?

All this news but not a single whisper about me. Me, the cat who took this beautiful country by a furry storm. 

Let me introduce myself properly for the meager humans who are yet to know about my prowess. 

I am Zebu, resident feline, silent observer of national developments, unofficial supervisor of rodent-catching affairs and clearly the most overlooked candidate in today’s reshuffle.

While they debate cabinet positions, I have already demonstrated administrative competence by conducting daily inspections of the kitchen, and auditing milk distribution. I enforce strict sofa-occupancy regulations. My experience in crisis management during vacuum cleaner operations is unmatched.

Yet not a single one of you humans have considered forming the Ministry of Cats.

Let me outline my vision.

The Reform Agenda

First, mandatory afternoon nap policy across all departments. Productivity increases after proper rest. I have conducted thorough research regarding this and it is safe to say .

Second, fish supply chain reform. Transparency is essential. If a fish enters the house, it must reach its rightful stakeholder. Me.

Third, the National Window Surveillance Program. Every household must allocate one window seat for feline strategic monitoring. Security begins at the balcony.

Fourth, the Human Behaviour Correction Bill. Excessive shouting during political debates will be replaced with calm petting sessions. This will reduce national stress.

In the morning, I hear names being announced. Applause, speculation and all out excitement. But has anyone asked, “What about Zebu?” Has anyone considered the emotional labour of a cat who has silently endured years of political discussion without a formal designation?

Today, while ministers take oath, I too am prepared. I have rehearsed my own version.

“I, Zebu, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the duties of the Ministry of Feline Affairs, protect all fish within territorial boundaries, and uphold the Constitution of Comfort.”

If portfolios are being distributed, let it be known: I am ready.

Ignore me at your own risk, the throne of the sofa awaits its rightful ruler.