The life of the mosquito is cruel, and most importantly, short, yet Mr Mosha’s dream knows no bounds. Recently done with his master’s in Bitology and Sleep Disruption, he has his sights set, for he now hopes to do his PhD, and not just anywhere, he aims to do a PhD in the place where only elite mosquitoes live, the Sunshine State, Florida.

Aiming so high may seem ludicrous for a mosquito, but Mr Mosha is different. No was never answered. For his undergraduate and postgraduate thesis, he himself took the initiative to collect blood samples, no matter how dangerous those missions were. Many of his counterparts in the mosquito armed forces did not even dare to walk the paths where Mr Mosha flew courageously without any hesitation.

Therefore, going for a PhD was something that did not seem impossible. Mosha, just like a good student, prepared for the GREE (Global Research on Evolution of Biting Ethics) during his undergrad and predictably got a great score, a score worthy of any reputable foreign programme.

When he was writing the SOP, tears were rolling down his small little cheeks. He wholeheartedly expressed the challenges of being a middle-class mosquito in this cruel world: how he had to do his own lab work and collect samples; how, without any VIP connections, he had to collect blood not only from the average citizen but from the ministers and mayors. Navigating their fully sealed, air-conditioned rooms filled with pest-control devices threatened Mr Mosha’s life at each and every step of the way.

He did not hold back, and for his real-world lab work experience and the high GREE score, the University of Florida deemed him to be an eligible candidate. Overwhelmed with joy and with a fully funded PhD programme waiting, Mr Mosha flew to America, land of the free, home of the brave, and the shining city on the hill for any blood-thirsty, ambitious mosquito.

His parents and his well-wishers couldn’t be prouder, and after a quick stint, his dissertation, “Bitology of Sleep Disruption: An Economic Model of Nocturnal Disturbance in Humid Urban Chittagong”, was completed.

Why Mr Mosha chose Chittagong? He provided the continuous flooding and poor drainage system of the city as the reason, for which the average mosquito could find their host quite easily in that area.

With a PhD dissertation in hand, and full of ambition to serve his nation, Mr Mosha landed at Shah Amanat International Airport, Chittagong.

He landed a job there as chief bitologist in a local NGO and, for his first assignment, he was tasked to invade his first home. Not just any home, but the palace of the mayor of the city.

A palace not like any other compound, full of air-conditioned rooms and closed windows, penetrating the skin would first require immense creativity in penetrating those large closed windows.

Mr Mosha wasn’t someone to give up this easily, as he remembered the wise words of his PhD supervisor back in Florida: “A closed window only defeats those who believe in closed systems.”

Mr Mosha quickly found a ventilation crack from where he and his team entered. Mr Mosha proudly enters, thinking he has finally overcome a grave environmental challenge: glass, curtains, even fans.

He lands near the mayor, ready for his most important “interaction study”.

However, underestimating the mayor’s gaze and intuition proved to be a grave mistake. Mr Mosha realises, too late, that his entire academic life never accounted for this one variable executed at scale.

His life flashed before him at the last moment, seeing the face of his PhD supervisor back in Florida and the sunshine on the beaches of Miami, strange songs of Pitbull playing in his subconscious. And finally, the ambitious mosquito with a degree from Florida died tragically just by a quick slap without any effort by the mayor in a quiet air-conditioned room in Chittagong.

Maybe all his education was for nothing, and perhaps a simple local college could’ve given him the same knowledge but may have proved the same inevitable fate, for a mosquito is bound to face the proverbial slap, no matter where he derives his expertise from.