Sadness is nothing new for Sad-man. The cycle hovers between less miserable and more miserable depending on the due date of his exams and the timing of his semester results.

However, rehab is a bit much. Knowing Sad-man’s reputation, him being a “good” kid, we tracked him down to understand why such a good boy is currently suffering in rehab doing reinforced Yoga.

“It was one of the toughest times again,” Sad-man recalled, referring to the time he had once again seen the Fs piling up in his marksheets.

As he was lost in the void, defeated in reality, Sad-man once again started doing what he’s been doing to combat the situation—scrolling through social media reels.

All of a sudden, he discovered something epiphanic. It was eclectic, unexpected and enticing!

It was a reel of Mr Pat-Weary, running a vibrant election campaign.

“This guy is just so magnificently natural,” Sad-man recounts.

“At first, I casually watched one or two reels. Gradually I got entrenched.”

As the time of the election approached, Sad-man was obsessed. He would watch the same reels again and again without feeling an ounce of boredom. Every time he would discover something new.

The best part was Mr Pat-Weary’s unpredictable delivery of words. No one on Earth could predict what Mr Pat would utter next. Nevertheless, the way he cracked jokes with a slight smile on his face and the way he attacked his political opponents was an absolute pleasure.

The thrill was so intense that Sad-man would lose his sense of time, often going to sleep at dawn, listening to the cacophonous gurgling sound of his dad, which would get louder and help Sad-man to sleep.

But the election was over.

Not encountering any fresh reels of Mr Pat crushed Sad-man. No hope in sight, and without any comedic refreshment keeping him afloat, Sad-man went insane.

“I am now alone in this rehab, forced to participate in Yoga class every morning. I mean, I was happier watching those reels without this nuisance,” Sad-man utters, being nostalgic.

Feeling a bit out of place, we asked Sad-man’s father why he had put his only son in rehab.

“He was getting on our nerves. He called me ‘Chandabaaz’ (extortionist) for collecting my due bills for the dish cable business I have. I mean, how can you call your own dad ‘Chandabaaz,’ who has been paying all your fees all these years?”

Mr Sad-man Harun Sr continued, “I even sent him to the residential semester only to throw away my hard-earned money and to listen to this:”

Mr Harun was boiling with rage as he spoke. “He would wear a white Punjabi and loiter around the area, uttering gibberish.”

“That was the time I decided to send him to a rehab called ‘Scroll Stopper’—one of my loyal customers, working to fight social media addiction,” Mr Harun wails.

When contacted, Ms Chadni Wellbeing, the Yoga trainer of the rehab centre, sounded helpless and dejected.

Being inquired, she said, “Oh! That boy!… Sad-man has made my existence unbearable. He calls me ‘Chandabaaz’ every other day just because he believes my name has some relation to it. My parents gave me the name out of love and…”

She could not finish as she broke down into tears.

To follow up, we again went to talk to Sad-man and narrowly escaped a heavy beating.

Sad-man was furious and was chasing us with a chair, as he believed journalists were not doing their duties properly, which in his mind was producing more of Mr Pat-Weary reels.