In the world of professional grifting, faking a limp is no small feat. It takes practice, dedication, and a level of commitment that would put Hollywood actors to shame. Luckily, Bangladesh’s newest rising stars, the con artists, are here to show us how it’s done.
Since the distribution of funds for the injured has begun, there have been mountainous numbers of grifters and fraudsters, or yet, better known for their respectable soon-to-be professions, actors, who are trying their very best to deceive, to persuade, and to woo the July Shaheed Smrity Foundation officials. Through this process, Bangladesh has seen a sudden influx of method actors, actors who are not afraid to take their craft to new heights.
They have given a new meaning to the phrase, “fake it till you make it.” In conversing with an actor, who has already received quite a few calls, some say even from Scorsese, “the actor” expressed that his new passion did not originate from old films or the dramatic roles, rather it came from the most fundamental human emotion, greed. He said, “my friend, greed is the ultimate motivator, everybody wants their life to get better, right? So why shy away from trying?”
When asked about how he learned the art of acting, he said, “ I would practice in front of the mirror, limping my left leg whenever I would walk, with a slight ache in my voice to indicate pain.” We asked the veteran actor to give us some advice for the people who might want to try to steal a bit of the cash themselves. “Always add a single teardrop before entering the funding office for dramatic effect. Works every time,” was the one advice he gave.
While interviewing another female candidate, she said she would wear a leg brace even though it did cause her actual pain. “I would tightly wear the cast because I knew I had to look natural. A few days later, my leg turned numb.” We asked if she had actually gone to a doctor to check out her leg, she said, “Yes, I did, I might have permanently damaged my nerves because the cast stopped the blood circulation.”
However, she was not upset about her new sustained injury. “See? I believed in the scam so much, the scam became real! Manifestation works! I may star opposite Leonardo Di Caprio in his next movie,” explained the newly born feminist in a Noakhailla accent while chewing tobacco.
One prominent director spouted, “These days, true method actors are hard to come by, but look at Bangladesh.” Of the 199 applications from the office of Thakurgaon civil surgeon, 156 contain false claims, the July foundation suspects. “Where else would you find such talent gathered in one place? Nowhere,” the director added.
As Hollywood takes notes from Bangladesh’s method actors, one thing has become clear, in a world where performance matters more than the truth, the best actors aren’t in movies, they’re in government offices, TCB queues, and in local pharmacies putting on their fake bandaids.
And while real victims suffer in silence, the loudest, most theatrical fraudsters will always steal the spotlight (and the funds).