As you step foot onto the lush, manicured campuses of Bangladesh’s premier universities, you’re met with a wild kingdom of student life. From the front-benchers to the permanently fried ones, here’s your guide to navigating the diverse ecosystem:
The toppers
The faculty’s beloved teacher’s pets are easily spotted – they’re the eager beavers flashing blindingly white smiles in the front row. Not only are their notebooks a kaleidoscope of colorful notes and doodles, but they never miss a chance to endear themselves to the course instructors. Bowing before their 4.0 GPAs and flawless transcripts is a sacred duty for us mere mortals.
Are they ‘leeches’ who perfect the mystic art of academic soaking? Or androids developed in a BUET lab? Whatever their supreme secrets, these incandescent Curve Mashers are an entire vibe. All hail the overlords!
The signature latecomers
Ah, the unmistakable clatter of hurried footsteps and a familiar voice pleading “Sorry sir, traffic from Baridhara…” There they go again breezing in 15+ minutes post-bell-ring with their trademark excuses and North End cups. It’s like punctuality is an urban myth to them.
The stoners
Is it just you, or do certain areas of the university halls just seem to have…a hazier constitution? You know the ones – the dreamy-eyed denizens with ample amount of the devil’s lettuce on them, frequently embarking on mystic journeys from their wee corners of the campus. Bless their eternally blazed souls.
The PDAs (aka the couples)
Prepare thine eyes for the unholiest of scenes, for the unholy couples moveth among us. Glued together tighter than cars in Dhaka’s rush hour traffic, these hopelessly smitten lovebirds spare no PDA – whether it’s snuggling in the student lounges or in the seclusion of empty classrooms or even shamelessly in the gallery.
The lurking phantoms (aka the perpetually absent)
Do they even exist? You may have been enrolled in the same classes for four years but never actually witnessed these mythical creatures. Yet when the department churns out the Dean’s List, there they’ll be – names hovering on the top like total apparitions. Are the Phantoms embedded in some matrix? Or have ascended to the next spiritual plane? The world may never know.
The wanna-be rockstars
Slinging well-worn guitars and draped in edgy all-black threads, long hair like a shampoo commercial with trendy outfits on these aspiring music mavens are impossible to miss. Usually posted up at campus hang-outs strumming funky chords or crooning outsider poetry, they personify the moody artist’s struggle. Just don’t ask them to pay for anything – as we all know, real artists suffer for their craft.
The Instagram boutiques (aka the influencers)
In a realm where sheer clout determines your place in the campus hierarchy, the influencers reign supreme. Forget 8am classes, their day starts at 6am getting full beats and looks on point – all to capture every angle of their designer OOTD shots. Because who even are you if you’re not slaying the ‘gram game?
The baper taka boiz and galz
Oozing an air of inherited opulence and bold-faced entitlement, the Baper Taka tribe moves throughout campus sporting branded drip and flashy cars. While maintaining even a semblance of academic work is clearly an afterthought, they’ll readily clear any hurdle with a steady stream of cold hard cash. The true currency of these trustafarians? Flossing on the ‘Gram in their sick cars and Dubai travelcades.
The seat warmers (aka here for attendance)
You know that friend who ducks into a back row just long enough to get counted present, then vanishes in a puff of smoke? Yep, those are the elusive Seat Warmers doing their thing. While their bodies exist on the premises in the barest minimum capacity, good luck spotting any signs of intellectual life behind those glazed stares. Their motto: “Just gotta be here.”
So, the newly admitted freshers, be prepared to embrace the wild, wondrous ecosystem of Bangladesh’s finest varsity life! Survive final exams, thrive at classes, and don’t feed the stoners.