As all the workers stood up seeing the boss enter, the air in that office smelt of mockery, suspense, and a wait for something to go down. Neither of the employees knew what would happen next, but the smirks and looks they gave one another were visible symptoms of what one could define as ‘pasher bashar auntie’ syndrome.

That conundrum of ‘seeking’ peace while preying on that occasional opening you might leave for a taunt, these employees know no better.

One might ask what the entire fuss is about. It’s a Facebook status by Ronny.

Ronny who?

The 41-year-old senior employee, or the prima donna of Gulistan, or the one guy who they said would take the company to newer heights, but has yet to hit that peak he hit years ago. Still living in that prime he had for a bit, Ronny often forgets that his colleagues don’t care anymore about that 2018 employee of the year award he won.

While the office collectively works as a whole in harmony, the usual treatment seems like a poignant display of disrespect to Ronny. As the boss entered the office, all eyes looked at the clock, wondering when, or if, Ronny would show up today.

Last week, things turned sour. No one really knew how. On Wednesday, Ronny barged into the office, then into Jalal’s (the manager) room, and then barged out of it. The loud, fast steps were tinged with a sense of intrigue that fed straight into the auntie syndrome mentioned above.

The last trace of Ronny is a text he sent to his only friend Morgen Piers, the bideshi HR of the company. “I’m off to Cox,” said Ronny.

One wonders why someone would see the sea beach and think ‘let’s diss my boss in a Facebook post’. Ronny does. At 9pm on a fine Friday evening, when the average officegoer scrolls Facebook, dreading the incoming workweek, everyone stumbles across that post. Yes, THAT status. The post started off with a mild plea to talk about ‘feelings’, then a long space between the paragraphs. And then a debrief.

“I’ve dragged my soul to work every day, and ran the extra yards of passion for 20 years. Last Friday, Jalal called me at 11 and told me to remain standby for a site visit. I was in the middle of my hair and facial routine, but I stopped and said yes anyway. As always, I sacrificed myself for the company. The first thing I did was cancel all my dawats for the day (which enraged my wife Jorina). Yet, Jalal never called me. I hoped he would understand what it takes to maintain the hair he once praised, but he never kept his word.”

He followed by saying, “I let it all go.”

But then hell broke loose on Tuesday, when Ronny was left out of the company photo. Well, not entirely. Just his hair.

“I felt betrayed. All my life I’ve carried my hair routine like I’ve carried this company. I’m done. I sent the boss 32 WhatsApp texts to fix it, and all he wrote me back was a thumbs up. The colleagues, who I never fail to inspire and teach the craft, keep comparing me to Mohsin. Sure, Mohsin has 8 employee of the year awards, but in my mind I’m the best. I could’ve gone to Qatar for the big bucks with my dulabhai, the passion has kept me here,” typed Ronny, sitting under the sunset in Cox’s.

It’s a shame when your miseries blur your eyes so much that the sunset seems like a red cloth to the raging bull in you.

Well, surely Ronny deserves his flowers. He’s won employee of the year five times too. He’s also won the fuchka-eating competition many a time as well, shoving them in his mouth the way a striker scores tap-ins.

Back at the sea, Ronny spoke to the voices in his head. As if one Ronny voice wasn’t enough. “The people love me, it makes me strong. Jalal might hate me, but it’ll make me unstoppable.”

Jorina asked him the big question. “Are we staying here forever or what?” Ronny had no answers, just a heart full of misery and grudges. He kept reading his status until this one time he had clarity.

Two days later, Ronny shows up at the office, expecting cheers. A few of the colleagues look at him and say, “Oh, anyways.” He walks up to each cubicle and hands them a card. Did Ronny finally get humbled? Are these sorry cards?

No, they are printouts of the same company photo, now with Ronny’s hair.

A few seconds later, Jalal walked out of his room to announce that the board of directors had found the infamous status.

Ronny is being suspended for a month.