Welcome the DJ not the DB: Here's 7 tips to hosting a 'legal' party
Every great party needs a surprise guest, and in Purbachal this week, the Detective Branch played that role perfectly. .
Welcome the DJ not the DB: Here's 7 tips to hosting a 'legal' party
Every great party needs a surprise guest, and in Purbachal this week, the Detective Branch played that role perfectly. .
I guess the rest of us would prefer not getting that kind of a surprise and therefore, in light of such inconveniences, let’s be pragmatic and be aware of what not to do when arranging a good or legal get-together.
Here’s a simple guide.
- Ask what your plot is allowed to be before you ask what the DJ charges.
Start with the house itself, because every legal party begins with a simple question: what is this building actually allowed to be? A residential plot is meant for living, not for hosting 84 of your closest friends and a disc jockey, and your housing society almost certainly has opinions on the matter. The answer saves a lot of money.
- Mind the volume
According to modern internet-dependent scientists, 45 decibels at night in a residential area is acceptable and night starts at 9 pm. That’s about the level of a library with a pulse. Your DJ’s sound check alone will be louder than the whole permitted evening. That’s why “legal” parties happen at venues built for noise, and why the not-so-“legal” ones get reviewed at 2 am by the neighbours with the police on speed dial.
- No liquids
Now, the bar. Having a big house and a good sound system doesn’t let you serve alcohol. You need a licence or permit, and those go to hotels, restaurants and clubs, not to someone’s drawing room. So at a legal party, the drinks are lemon juice, Coke and Mojo. Some guests will complain. That’s still better than explaining yourself in jail.
- No greenery
“The guests brought it” may be true, but it’s not a plan. Not worth it.
- Corporations are snakes
Don’t treat Airbnb like a party hall. Airbnb says it doesn’t allow parties at its listings. Writing “birthday gathering” and then bringing in a DJ and lights isn’t being honest with the platform, the neighbours or the police.
Whatever you write in the listing should be what actually happens that night.
- Less is more
Keep your numbers honest. The owner of the latest one says two or three parties a month. DB says 20 to 22. Both can’t be right, and the neighbours, who heard every single one, already know which is true.
- Beware of the forbidden date
The law has been known to announce a no-DJ-party policy for 31 December, so if that’s your big night, call them before you call the DJ.
So here’s to the “legal” DJ party, that your parents even might approve of.
